Dead PC

I went on vacation.  The mind is a beautiful place.  Too much room sometime though.  Somebody painted my walls.  Things are bright, in the right light.  No lines are straight, none cross.  “Where have you been?” she asked.  Right over there.  Didn’t you see?  Under the tree?  Maybe the leaves were covering.  Sometimes they do that.  I was listening to the Dead today.  I can’t tell you how beyond excited I am to finally have an MP3.  My PC is dead.  Is that politically correct?  God, I hope not.  I had a mouse, but it died too.  Things are falling apart right in front of me.  And yet, I seem to be in relatively good spirits.  Thank God for spirits.  At least the good ones.  Do you see the colors yet?  Where are you now?  I told you, under the tree.  When I was a child, it was always in the tree.  But those childhood toys are dead to me now.  You feel me?  Sometimes it’s the simple things.  The sunshine, the drumbeat, the bike ride, the guitar lick.  I hope you take time out to smile.  I hope you’re not to sad, too old, too lonely, too wise, too intellectual, too sofisticated, too stuffy, too busy, too full, or God forbid, too shy.  If you don’t listen to the Dead, at least listen to the wise.  Don’t worry.  Be happy.  Everything is going to be alright.  You are beautiful.  Today was beautiful.  Imagine what tomorrow will be?  If you can’t find anyone to love, start with yourself; the rest will come.

Enjoy.  Peace.

Whiffle and Dye

It was a beautiful summer day today, nice and hot with a bit of humidity and no pool to jump in. I decided to do what I’ve been doing quite a bit lately, get some mellow, easy exercise. For me that means riding my bicycle for a while and then walking; Nothing too strenuous.

I decided it was so warm that I would ride my bike down to the mall and then go inside and do my walking in the air-conditioning. The mall wasn’t too busy that time of day so I was making some pretty good time in the nice cool air until I got down to one end. As I was passing a hair salon, someone called me over and interrupted my pace.

Once I start walking and get up to a nice pace I don’t usually like stopping until I’m finished, but today I was in a good mood and immediately determined that I still have most of the day to walk, so stopping for a second shouldn’t hurt too much.

The petite, energetic girl who flagged me down said they were offering free samples of a hair dye today and anyone interested could get a free haircut or style to go with it. Wise-ass that I am, I quickly removed my hat and showed her how little hair I had was hardly worth dying.

She returned a misleading smile and whispered, “You ever think about losing that gray in your beard?”

Then she casually, but effectively threw in the sales pitch, “I bet your wife would think you look hot.”

I know from previous experience if I was single, that was the point I was supposed to say, “Oh, I’m not married” and take off from there.

But I am married now, so instead I said, “Oh yeah? You think my wife would notice that?”

It sounded like a good challenge to me since I thought the only way my wife would think I looked hot was if I came home with my hair on fire. The girl was a natural born sales person and she sucked me in.

Truth be told, I was actually thinking of shaving my beard off because there is so much gray in it now. I’ve had a beard most of my life because I’m one of those guys that prefers not to carve their face with a razor every day. I’m not wild about having a gray beard yet, but I still think that’s better than no beard at all.

I wanted a haircut because it is summer and mine was getting long enough to start curling. To be offered a free solution to both on a day when I had nothing better to do sounded like a good idea. I took her up on the offer. She shuttled me in to one of the empty seats while giving me a little explanation of something or other. As soon as she slid my glasses off and clipped a body bib around my neck, she spun the chair and said, “This is Jose. He’ll do your cut and dye.”

Without my glasses on, all I could see was her fade away back out to hook another fish. I was left with some old fat smelly dude named Jose with more gray than me all over his head. All Jose said was, “Regular?”

“No.” I told him, considering a quick bale-out before it was too late. But I decided to show him how tough I was. I said, “Give me a whiffle.”

Suddenly Grey Jose looked like he did not know many English words. “A what?”

“A wiffle,” I repeated. “You know, shave it all off” I added for clarification.

That’s just what he did. Grey Jose shaved my head more than I had ever had or hoped to have. He cut so much off, I don’t know why he didn’t just break out the razor and shave it for real. When he finished the top of my head he kindly confirmed I was still with the program. “Take gray out beard?”

“See,” I replied for some reason.

I wish I could see what was going on, but my glasses were too far away to reach. I just sat there shaking and blindly wondering what I had gotten myself into.

I could tell Grey Jose was finished with me when he splashed my head with powder and followed it by swiping a big brush on the top and around my ears and a towel quickly wrapped and unwrapped around my entire head. As he spun the chair around so I was no longer facing the mirror, Miss hot pants from out in the mall handed my glasses to me and tried some sort of sales pitch about something that just happened. I didn’t hang around to listen. I threw the body bib at the chair and ran out without looking or listening. Feeling slightly rude about it, I at least shouted a quick, “Thanks” as I ran back out into the safety of the mall.

I finished my walk and went back out to ride my bike for a while. I wore a hat today and did not realize until I got home that I should have ridden for a while without the hat to give my now bald head some much needed sunlight. Apparently Jose did not know what a whiffle was, because he ended up going a little beyond. The one good thing about it is that I can’t see it myself so I’m not constantly reminded how bad it looks.

I was right about my wife not noticing my gray-less beard too. The first time she saw me when I got home was from behind. I heard a loud screach followed by, “OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?????”

I don’t know why she freaks out like that about my hair. It’s not like I had much to begin with. The entire top has been gone for many years and I only had about a 3″ patch of hair anyway. For some reason that makes a difference to her and she seems to think I look worse when the entire head is bald.

She was in so much shock about my newly shaved head that she didn’t even notice the beard. It was a little annoying to see her quickly turn and look away every time I walked near her all night, especially when she held her hand up to avert her eyes. Maybe some day she’ll read this and then force herself to look at me again. After her reaction, I didn’t bother trying to explain what happened.

I considered adding a photo to give you a better laugh, but with comedy you have to draw the line somewhere.

Skittles In the Yard

It has been two weeks since I mowed last and with all the rain we’ve been getting the grass is getting tall once again. That means Skittles is once again enjoying the privacy. If you haven’t read my 5/1/08 post on my Photo Blog, Skittles is the bunny that lives in my yard. He likes tall grass to hide in.

Today I noticed him lying out in the tall grass again. I notice that he seems to love doing that just when I’m thinking of mowing. I hate to keep taking away his hiding spots, but I also don’t want the yard to get too much out of control. I can’t believe this, but I actually considered mowing most of the yard except about a 3 foot circle right in the middle so Skittles will still have a place to hide.

That’s where I found Skittles today, right in the middle of the yard. It was a beautiful day, nice and sunny, blue skies, temperature in the seventies. It was so nice that I began my day by skipping coffee and breakfast and went for a 40-minute walk instead. When I returned, I was thinking of mowing, so I looked out into the yard and saw Skittles lying right in the middle enjoying the sun.

The neighbor on the other side of my back yard was already out mowing and singing loudly (and badly) with his ipod and earphones on. The other neighbor was dipping in and out of the garage, clanging and making a bunch of racket. Behind Skittles, people walked by and stopped to talk on the sidewalk, buses stopped according to schedule, cars and trucks passed, and he ignored it all and took a nap right there in the middle of the yard.

Here’s a picture of him to prove it. He managed to prop his eyelid open half way as I aproached, but I didn’t seem to bother him because he went right back to his nap and ignored me. He looked so cute, I felt sorry for him so I left him alone. Rather than mowing and distubing him, I decided to go out front and trim the hedges that were now about 3 feet too tall.

My Hedge trimming project took all day. Perhaps it wouldn’t have taken as long if I didn’t stop to take so many pictures. I kept ducking in back to check on Skittles and then I did a lot of holding still and waiting for the Cardinals to get in just the right position to take their picture. I had the company of both a male and female Cardinal for most of the day while I worked out front. If you want to see those pictures, they are posted on my FLICKR page.

Thanks for stopping by.
Ty Randall

Battle of Bended Knee

Sounds like a war with the white man on the reservation, “battle of bended knee.”  What it is really about is the battle of old age against my bent knee on the ground. 

Many years ago when I first became a homeowner and had to do my own yard work, I wandered through the gardening section of Wal-Mart in search of some clippers.  I remember seeing for the first time a pad to kneel down on while gardening.  It was green, so it would match the grass I guessed.  I actually laughed out loud.  I’m kind of insensitive sometimes so it struck me as being funny.  “Who the heck would need a pad just to kneel on the ground?”

I thought the ground was soft enough padding.  Heck, I slept on it in my pup-tent with no padding, I did lots of yard work and other activities without needing a pad, I could even drop down on that hard floor of the Wal-Mart without needing a pad to land on.  Needing a pad to kneel down on just seemed funny to me.  Today I am much more sensitive, understanding, and wise.  Today I would not think it was so funny to see a pad to kneel on.

Today my knees are killing me.  Yesterday I went out and photographed the New Jersey Folk Festival.  The festival had three separate stages and lots of other activities going on as part of the annual “AG day” at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey.  I spent most of my day running from one stage to another, quickly dropping down on my knees to take a few shots, then running on to the next spot to drop down on my knees again so I wouldn’t block anyone’s view.

Today I went out to photograph some flowers in the garden.  That was when I first felt the sharp sting in my knee that felt like a huge needle.  It happened as I was kneeling down to get a nice low angle on a tulip.  I was so unprepared for the sudden pain that shot into my knee that I screamed loudly as I quickly pulled my knee out from under me. 

I continued the scream all the way down until my face landed in the dirt.  Naturally, there were people around who turned to look when they heard a loud scream.  They got a good laugh when they saw me dive into the dirt.  The 3 or 4 year-old kid seemed to think it was the funniest.  I think I may have scared them.  They muttered some things in Spanish and hurried away with concerned looks, like they weren’t quite sure what else a lunatic who dives into the dirt is capable of doing.

Now that I am over the hump and on the downslide of life, I am in agreement with those who say getting old sucks.  It’s bad enough if you have normal medical issues, but when things (like knees) start hurting for no reason other than you used it, sucking is the first word that comes to mind.  If you are reading this and too young to understand, try to at least remember it because some day you will understand. 

I know muscles can get weak and out of shape from non-use and then you really feel it if you suddenly use them too much.  But knees?  I don’t think there is an exercise to get your knees in shape for kneeling on them.  If there is, please let me know because right now it feels like the thick needle is still sticking in them.

After today’s incident in the garden, I was thinking of the next festival I plan to go photograph.  The Red Bank Jazz & Blues Festival is coming up the first week in June.  On my way home from today’s photographic and dirt eating adventure, I stopped at a local sports store and purchased a pair of kneepads.    Not the kind of pad with a handle that you carry out to the garden.  I needed something more flexible because I have enough photo equipment to carry.  I got the kind you pull up over your leg, like if you were a wrestler. 

They were out of black, so I had to get a bright red kneepad.  Obviously comfort is still more important to me than style.  It wasn’t until driving home that I remembered it would probably be warm for the Red Bank festival in June so I’ll have to wear shorts.  I should look pretty awesome with red pads under my shorts.  I might as well make up a special T-shirt that says something like, “Go ahead and laugh, I can take it.” 

Now that I’m ready, I can’t wait for the next battle of the bended knee!

I’ll give you two samples below of “shots from bended knee” that I spoke of in this blog entry.  As soon as I have time, I’ll post my Folk Festival photos on my website so either check back or make sure you’re on the mailing list so you get notified.

 

Happy Dreams and Milk

Last day of winter.  Spring arrives tomorrow.  I think we ended up with a total of 7 inches of snow all winter where I live.  That would probably make some people happy, but it doesn’t do much for me.  Winter is going out with a cold & rainy bang today.

That cough and runny nose I spoke of a few weeks ago ended up turning into chest congestion, then somehow it moved against gravity and went up to become a very bad head cold that flattened me for days, then before that was over, dropped back down to my chest again, where it tore up my throat and lingered on for weeks.  Nasty bugger, it was.  I’d say I’m about
98% back to as close as I get to normal now.

My doctor confirmed how nasty it was.  She says it has turned into pneumonia for many people and some have even died from it.  I’m still here, but also still coughing a little and throat dries out.  I think it’s almost done and I’ll be able to drink milk again soon. 

Besides milk, I’ve also stayed away from the coffee & caffeine while sick.  I don’t know, I just felt the need to cleanse.  Turns out its not all green tea I hate, only that strong Tazo loose-leaf
kind that I had that day.  I’ve been drinking the decaffeinated ginseng peppermint and honey ginseng teas and they are green.  Today I heard somebody order a tea and say, “leave room for milk.” 

What’s up with that?  Who puts milk in their tea?  Is that an American thing?  Is that a British thing?  Or is it just a thing that someone who doesn’t really like tea does?  I can see lemon, honey, sugar, or something like that; but milk?  That just sounds wrong for some reason.

Sunday night I got about an hour sleep and Monday I got 2 hours.  On Tuesday morning I had an appointment with the accountant, so I broke down and drank a half-cup of coffee, hoping that would help get me through.  I don’t think it did anything for me, but I was able to stay awake until the afternoon, when I finally gave up and took a nap.  Last night I got back to my usual 5 hours sleep and today I’m back to dreaming of a full 8 hours.  Sometimes I just think that would be awesome to get enough sleep, but that’s what dreams are for…dreaming of all the things you wish you had, even if it’s sleep so you could have more happy dreams.

Accounting For Taxes

It’s tax time and I’ve found some “accounting irregularities” that need my immediate attention so I haven’t had time for much else lately.  Dreams and wishes, prayers and wonders. 

One of my most frustrating things is that I already have so many things planned out, but with limited time, have to prioritize and just wait until the appropriate time.  Oh well, at least the grass is beginning to turn green.  Yes, that means yard-work awaits.  Let’s see how long I can put that off.

I was going to say…

I was going to write about something else today, but…

I was in a store today and I overheard part of a conversation between two ladies.
The part that I heard was, “Blah, blah, blah, I was going to say…” and then the person said what they were “going to” say.

I couldn’t help myself.  I had to walk over and slap her.

When she returned such a shocked expression, I thought I should be nice and offer a little explanation.

“There is no need to say ‘I was going to say’ if you actually DO say it,” I told her.

“God!  I can’t stand that,” I added as I walked away, just in case she needed some reinforcing.

If you are going to say something, there is absolutely no need to say that you were “going to” say it.

The correct term should be, “I was going to say…something.”

Just leave it at that.  If you then say what you were going to say, then you didn’t really need to say that you were going to say it because you just did say it.

I mean, come on!  Get a grip for crying out loud. 

Just thinking about it got me so upset I forgot what I was going to say.

Runny Nose & Cough

I feel like I’m getting sick.  Could it be mental fatigue dragging down physical?  I suppose so.  I’ve been coughing for 2 days.  I seem to have a very stubborn frog living in my throat.  I tried forcing him out with green tea today.  It wasn’t pretty.  I have to say, I’m not a fan of green tea.  I don’t really care how good it is for me.  I like the peppermint or honey ginseng stuff much better. 

It’s not a bad cough, I’ve had worse.  It’s just continuous and annoying mostly.  It seems to subside with liquidation.  I’m all out of beer, but I have plenty of the damn tea left.  Anyway, all this writing is giving me a sore throat now.  Maybe it’s from coughing too much, or the nasty tea.  If I could only sleep all weekend!

If you ever see this, Happy Birthday to Kathy and Mitzi this weekend and Happy Belated to Geno and Charlie and anyone else I forgot.  Sorry to Kevin and Donna, I won’t be able to make it to your party. 

Things I shouldn’t admit

Curious George is hanging in my bathroom.  Well, not him exactly, but a likeness of him on a necklace.  Feel free to add your weirdness as a comment (if you dare).

Big Winter Storm

Wow, it finally snowed.  We got a huge 6 inches!  That is expected to be the big storm of the winter and we’re done now.  It wasn’t quite enough to bother pulling out the snow blower.  Unfortunately, I had to work so didn’t go take pictures.  No excuses really, there are 24 hours in the day and after sleeping, eating, working, commuting, shoveling, and showering, I should have had an hour or two left to go out and play.  I chose to blog and stuff on the computer instead.  It’s my own fault.

By the way, I wasn’t sure if I needed two “L’s” in shoveling, so I tried the blog spellchecker for the first time.  It tells me the only word it doesn’t understand is “blog.”  Wouldn’t you think they would add “blog” to the list of recognizable words in a blog spell checker?  I also notice it lets me do spellchecker together and spell checker split up, so now I don’t know which is correct.  Fortunately, I know somebody who knows so if I cared, I could always ask.  I don’t care.